


Lost without you

by artsyleo



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Ben Mitchell Loves Callum "Halfway" Highway, Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: The warehouse is too cold. Ben shivers as soon as he walks in, which isn't a good sign. He's not sure whether it's from the temperature or the thoughts of what has happened here - the thoughts, images that won't leave his mind of his boyfriend, his Callum, being beaten by Keanu. He wants to leave as soon as he enters, but he knows that there are more important things right now than his own feelings.Callum.Callum is more important than his *anything* at this moment, which is probably why he hadn't already been to the hospital yet about the fact that he can hardly hear a thing-No, Ben tells himself. You can't do this now. This is about Callum.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Lost without you

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Lost Without You by Freya Ridings (which in my opinion is such a ballum song)(wouldn't be mad if someone more talented than me made a video edit to it...)(yanno just sayin)

The warehouse is too cold. Ben shivers as soon as he walks in, which isn't a good sign. He's not sure whether it's from the temperature or the thoughts of what has happened here - the thoughts, images that won't leave his mind of his boyfriend, his Callum, being beaten by Keanu. He wants to leave as soon as he enters, but he knows that there are more important things right now than his own feelings.   
Callum.   
Callum is more important than his *anything* at this moment, which is probably why he hadn't already been to the hospital yet about the fact that he can hardly hear a thing-  
No, Ben tells himself. You can't do this now. This is about Callum.   
He'd dragged Jay (and, begrudgingly, Stuart) along to the warehouse. No matter how much Jay pleaded with him to leave the investigation to the police, Ben knew he couldn't, leaving Jay to sigh, and agree to come and help him. They'd been to interrogate Shirley previously on what she'd been told by Keanu. She'd insisted that Callum wasn't here, that she'd searched exactly where Keanu said, and he was nowhere in sight. Ben couldn't quite let go that easily.  
That leaves him trudging around the warehouse, checking *everywhere*. Stuart insisted on searching alone, which left Jay to come with him, to make sure that he didn't miss any noises.   
By the time they've almost completed a circuit of the warehouse, Ben can feel himself getting anxious. Callum *has* to be here, they don't have any other leads, and if they don't find him here-  
A frantic tap on his shoulder snatches him out of his mind. He whips around, hope already growing in his chest. Jay stands there, clearly focused on something, and holds a finger to his lips. They both stand there for a moment with baited breath. Ben can't stop his mind from spinning out of control with *what ifs* in the holes that Jay has found something - what if they don't find him? What if Callum hates him? What if he's not-?   
Jay suddenly takes off in another direction, down a small corridor he hadn't noticed before. Ben thinks he's saying something, most likely *can you hear him?* but if he is, Jay ignores him until they reach what seems to be a dead end in the corridor. Ben is about to deflate again when Jay pulls across some plastic sheets and stares into what Ben assumed was just another wall, but was actually another opening.   
Jay freezes.   
Ben thinks his heart stops beating, right there and then.  
He pushes forward when Jay doesn't move again, ripping away the plastic sheeting, searching the floor frantically and-  
He's there.   
It's Callum.   
And then, God, it feels as though he's been shot again, the pain, the hurt, the worry seeping through him, making his heart race and his hands shake and his already dodgy hearing completely focus on Callum, Callum, Callum. He follows Jay away from the drop, down another set of stairs, which lead round to where Callum lies, half covered in what seems to be an old plastic tarpaulin. Callum looks wrecked, completely torn apart and Ben almost can't stand the sight of it; his Callum, reduced to this. His hair is unkempt and dirty, stubble growing over his chin, flakes of blood stuck between fine hair. And Ben wants to cry, right there - Callum's trousers are wet. He doesn't want to know what from, although the darker corners of his mind suspect it; of course it is, he's been here, trapped, for days, with nowhere else to go. Keanu certainly wouldn't have let him out for a bathroom break at any point. He hates it; hates that his boyfriend has been reduced to this, and it makes him thirst for Keanu's blood all over again because someone has to make him pay-  
A hand on his shoulder makes him jump out of his skin. He whips around, and it's just Jay, looking out of breath, almost as distraught as him at the state of Callum on the floor. Ben almost looks back to him but he's not sure if he can bear it - he feels the tears tracking down his cheeks before he gives them any permission to do so. But Jay just takes his face firmly in his hands, and forces Ben to look at him so that Ben can see what he's saying.  
We have to call an ambulance, Jay says, looking too in control of the situation.  
Someone has to be, Ben thinks darkly.  
Stay with him, Ben. Talk to him, Jay says, waiting for a nod from Ben, showing that he understood. Ben does just that, pulling away from Jay's hands as Jay gets a phone from his pocket.  
He kneels next to Callum's head, placing it gently in his lap, trying to ignore what feels suspiciously like blood on the back of his hand. It feels like a cruel parallel - this is just like when Ben got shot, and Callum had sat with him, yet this time Callum himself was in the firing line.  
What Ben wouldn't give to take away all of Callum's pain and place it on himself, he thinks.  
Before he knows it he's babbling - in his half-deaf state, even he can't work out quite what he's saying, which scares him, but it must be working because Callum's eyes flicker open then, God, his eyes.  
A deep, beautiful blue that Ben doesn't think he would ever be able to forget. They're beautiful, and Ben's never been so glad to see them. Callum sees him, and smiles, his eyes clearly tired. Ben can barely make out the words.   
You found me, Callum says.   
"Had to, didn't I, ya doughnut. Ain't letting you go that easy." Ben smiled, trying desperately to ignore the fact that he could barely hear his own voice.   
The two of them just smiled at each other then, Callum's hand reaching up to grasp at Ben's.   
Ben tried again to ignore just how cold he was.   
Before they could say anything more though, Callum seemed to attempt to look beyond Ben. Ben turned around to where paramedics, led by a frantic Jay, now stormed towards them.   
-  
As soon as they'd made it to the hospital, they'd rushed Callum through some scans. Ben hadn't wanted him to be alone, but the doctors had insisted that his boyfriend needed to be thoroughly checked out.   
After a while, another came back around to where Jay, Stuart and Ben were all nervously sat.   
Mr Highway is doing well, the man said. He has quite severe hypothermia, as well as two broken ribs, and cuts and bruising, but most will heal well with time.   
The doctor continued to talk after that, presumably about Callum's ongoing treatment, but Ben didn't look. Callum would be okay. He was going to get better.   
Ben hadn't gotten him killed.   
A hand lay on his shoulder, and he turned to look to his side. Jay looked straight at him.   
He's going to be okay, Jay said.   
Ben couldn't keep it in any longer. Tears sprang quickly from his eyes, and his heart broke with relief. Jay took him firmly in his arms, stroking a hand down his back as Ben cried into his shoulder. For a while he just sat there, Jay's arms solid around him, grounding. And suddenly he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, content in the knowledge that Callum lay right in the next room, finally.   
-  
It takes a while for Callum to come round from whatever painkillers they'd put him on, but by the time Ben wakes up again, Jay is just walking out of the room.   
He's awake, he can see Jay say slowly. Go see him.   
-  
Ben's heart breaks just that little bit more when he enters the room. There's a nurse in there, making sure Callum's drip is hooked up correctly, or checking his heart monitor, or something, Ben can't quite work out what she's saying. The man in front of him looks so small, and yet he's still so dominant in the room - he's swaddled with blankets, his lips still a little blue from the freezing cold of the warehouse.  
And then he turns to look at Ben, and he smiles. He smiles that smile that lights up his whole face. Ben is too tired to notice then that it doesn't quite reach his eyes, because it's Callum, right in front of him, and he almost starts crying again. Callum gestures to the seat beside him gently, holding back his own tears. There's so much that Ben wants to say to him - he's been planning it out in his head, but in that moment his mind just goes blank because, God, he's there, and that's all that matters. Ben's about to start saying something when Callum pulls his hand away from Ben's for a minute. His heart starts to race with what ifs- what if he's changed his mind, what if he hates me, what if its all my fault-

I love you, Callum signs, and Ben's heart breaks right there.  
It's the one bit of sign language that Lexi had taught them both weeks ago, before all of this, when they'd got back together. Callum is beaming at him, tears tracking down his cheeks, and Ben doesn't think he's ever been more in love than in that moment. He signs those words straight back to Callum, and then pulls their lips together.  
He knows that later he'll lay into Jay about burdening Callum with the news about his hearing, knowing his boyfriend would only worry, but right now he can't quite bring himself to care. Callum is here, right next to him, and that's enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> A fic that's been half finished in my drafts since anniversary week...  
> So yeah! Before it all happened this was kinda my version of the reunion/rescue. I tried to include elements of Ben's hearing loss, but if anythings inaccurate don't be afraid to say, I haven't proofread this bc I'm tired oop.   
> Enjoyyyy   
> Leo  
> If ya wanna hear about my rantings and writings my tumblr is @artsy-highway


End file.
